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Gogs Cunningham Singer-songwriter-poet-inventor-of-backwards-dances Tomas Bird hasn't been away anywhere because he's disgustingly prolific, but if he had been away I would've said that he's absolutely back as fuck with an album of unrivaled nutjobery.

Full of unique shapeshifting melodies & mutated folk structures while lyrically T wades way too deep into these old tales and details the misery and violence with a forensic glee that will make you a wee bit seek in your mouth the next time you see Tangled.
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For the purposes of BandCamp banter, I’ve trimmed the piece I started yesterday for my blog and put in the key detail of how this all began. In short, last year I had started chuckling away to myself after calling the cinematic legend, Walt Disney a total “radge” and passed comment saying he that he should have been called Malt Disney as he must have drinking some amount of booze to be drumming up the kind of nonsense I had just read in an article.

It was then I stopped and thought, hold on the now…that’s actually a reasonably no bad pretty braw idea for a concept album idea.

So that was that…on the 21st of March, with a fridge still chalk full of beer from the weekend just passed, I sat down at 11:42 and began to write what would turn into this album.

There’s no real secret as to how I approached it all…the first thing I tackled was fleshing out the structures I had been mucking about with a few days earlier and then began the process of wailing like a castrated raccoon until a melody began to form.

Once I had a couple of tunes and basic melodies, I then started reading a heap of articles regarding where Walt had taken inspiration from for his characters and then started researching into those backgrounds a bit more; they’re based on some pretty gruesome tales if truth be told.

Over the next few days, my schedule was more or less as follows, wake up, line my stomach with a bacon and egg sandwich and then start heavily drinking, researching, writing and then when my vision began to blur, I would take a nap and then review.

The results were five songs based on Rapunzel, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty / Cinderella, The Hunchback of Notre Dame / The Frog Princess and finally, The Little Mermaid.

Of course, when you begin a project like this, you can only really vibe off the ridiculous nature of the original idea; it is only after a couple of sessions that you can begin to really drive yourself forward with the craziness that has presented itself.

Anyway, it took ten months to complete and by Jove am I proud of what we’ve achieved; the whole process has completely opened up my mind that any idea, by anyone of any level can be fully visualized with just the right amount of effort and madness.

So here is Malt Disnae which is my concept album that is loosely based on the grim origins of Walt Disney princesses; it’s a journey that should be listened to in one sitting with head-cans on, in the dark (or at the very least, not in the light) with either a decent sized mug of strongly brewed tea (perhaps the kind you get free with an easter egg) or some sort of tankard of well-aged spirit that is normally reserved for high octane ceremonies, and finally, perhaps you should have some sort of dog by your side to periodically pat on the head; I’ll leave that up to you though.

I truly hope you enjoy listening to my music, my friends : )

Tomas Bird


released January 8, 2017

Tomas Bird - Basic music + Lyrics + main VOX
Michael Brennan - MINTIT music & BARRIE producer + mixer
Liam Saunders - The Supreme Commander of the piano + keys on Bones Dusting
Rachel Wright - Cello + haunting backing VOX
Rory Buchanan - Swell hitting of drums with sticks + bass on Bones Dusting
Pete Maher - The MASTER of mastering



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The Madman's Cabaret Scotland, UK

Vision - A World where everyone inspires selfless good every day.

Mission - To create and Share; To Relate and Care; To be known as a man who made a positive difference.

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Track Name: Tomas Bird & The Madman's Cabaret - Charming Rides - Paralysed Tears - The Call of The German Seven - Eternal Sleep - Mad Jack Arrives - Fine Dining - Ring The Bells Ye French Priest - Bones Dusting - The Birth of Death Sung By Whales – Deadwood
Paralysed Tears - Rapunzel:

It’s a long hard life, well it’s a long hard life,
At the summit of the tower in the sky.

And it’s a long way down, well it’s a long way down,
To the bottom of the tower from the sky.

And the ain’t no fallen spoils from a citrus grove
To land upon and break your fall if you should choose to jump;
There’s just miles of hard-boiled thorns
For you to break your neck,
And sharply pierce your eyes,
Spinal fluid will run down your cheek;
Your tears soon paralysed.

So slice off your golden locks,
And tie them to the chair,
And then get out of there,
As you, believe so shall you do.

Eternal Sleep - Snow White:

Well you can’t run from your family.
Not all mothers are wrong,
Just disappointed with their reflections
In mirrors born from song:

Your ashen-lungs,
And poisoned liver,
You’re killing your heart;
And it’s too far from them.

So you can’t run from your family.
Not all mothers are evil,
Just misguided with the perceptions
From mirrors now not their equal.

An eye for an apple,
And a glass-coffin-bed;
Eternal sleep is too far for them.

As you, as you believe, so shall you, so shall you do.

Fine Dining - Sleeping Beauty / Cinderella:

Close the door;
I’m not waiting anymore.
Just let me sleep,
For one hundred years or more
So I can fine dine on slumber
And kisses in my dreams.

Go sew your toes;
Go feel your unsightly severed heel.
Just close the door,
For I have nothing left to steal
But fine wine to slumber;
It gives me kisses in my dreams.

As you, believe so shall you do!

Bones Dusting - The Frog Princess / Hunchback of Notre Dame:

Don’t wake me,
I don’t want this curse broken,
I don’t want to be cut open;
I don’t want to die.

I’m done aching,
I don’t want to be found hanging,
I just want some kind loving;
And I don’t want to die.

Remember, when you said, as you believe
So shall you do; so shall you do.

I hear bells ringing,
And I feel your soul’s starving,
I don’t want your bones dusting;
I don’t want you to die.

So I’ll leave darling,
I’ll leave you to go searching,
Go find that one something;
That I can’t provide.

Deadwood - The Little Mermaid:

Wading the river of torment,
The stream I could no longer see,
With knife blades in my feet;
Who’ll take mercy on me?

Well the ferns they clawed at my ankles,
And deadwood cannoned my knees,
A sea-spirit no more;
Who’ll take mercy on me?

As you believe, so shall you do, oh as you believe, so shall you do.

I was dancing for others enjoyment,
Even though the pain it caused me,
For the deal that I struck,
Won’t take mercy on me!

Punished, then chained in loves shackles,
I’ve been told to make royalty bleed,
Drip the blood on my feet
To take mercy on me!

As you believe, so shall you do, oh as you believe, so shall you do.

Well I guess I know now love is fleeting,
And happiness leads to the sea,
Where we all turn to foam,
For no mercy is free!

As you believe, so shall you do, oh as you believe, so shall you do.